I enjoy a drink like any other self respecting semi recovering alcoholic and over the years I have developed a finely tuned boozeometer, which lets me know if what I am drinking is bison urine or the finest distilled nectar from the bosom of an ambrosia addicted Goddess.
On my weekly Tesco visit to pick up some cheese and a smoke alarm, I ventured into the drinky poo section for a bottle or 6 of real ale to help wash away the day’s disappointments.
My eyes scanned the shelves for a real ale with the ferocity of a bar-code reader in the hands of a skilled checkout assistant with 40 years of experience just before retirement.
I was taking in too much information from the shelves and it looked as if I was about to give up and wander over to the cider section, which has less choice but then my eyes wandered a little to the left where the stouts were stocked and I caught a glimpse of something I had not seen before.
Guinness Foreign Extra Stout from Nigeria in bottles.
It sounded like a strange concept and I was left a little perplexed at the whole idea of Guinness being brewed in anywhere else except Ireland. I phoned a friend to help me in my hour of need for him to confirm that this was not some new fad and a sick joke to all Irishmen.
With a little assistance from google he informed me that Nigeria was the first Guinness outside of Ireland and Britain and its Foreign Extra Stout is unparalleled amongst other breweries versions of bottled Guinness.
Needless to say this was all the convincing I needed and a purchase of 24 bottles was promptly made.
I returned home to find my wife sitting in the kitchen reading through a copy of the radio times whilst waiting for her latest culinary treat to emerge from the oven with the level of expectation normally given to the birth of a child mixing amongst the fine aromas of rosemary, garlic and lamb.
The question I had sitting on my lips was “Will this Stout go with the meal?”. Its was a hard decision so I opened up the first bottle seeing as the food had another hour or two to go. This first bottle was delicious but a little heavy at first so I followed it with another 9 bottles before dinner by which time I was rather squiffy to say the least.
However, I was ravenously hungry and could have eaten the raw spine off a zebra. So when food was finally served there was an orgasm in my taste buds that can only be achieved through a little mistreatment of the liver before eating.
The conclusion I reached was this fantastic stout with such exquisite colourful flavours is wasted on an old drunk like myself, but there must be a myriad of real ale experts who would savor each sip in a way that I can only laugh at.
My philistine like approach to drink is if it tastes nice then drink a lot of it quickl. So I shall end my critique of this excellent stout by saying after the first beautiful yet heavy 3 bottles the rest go down rather quickly so I will give it top marks.
Well done Nigeria, I always equated Guinness with smoky pubs in Ireland pre-smoking ban but now I can visualise a whole new environment in which to enjoy this drink. I will be there, in a dusty bar in Lagos off the beaten track sipping away at a bottle of Guinness, haggling over something or other worth haggling over for my lunch with the Irish rover playing in the background on an old cassette recorder.