President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
The President of the Islamic Republic of Iran

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Gordon,

In the Name of Almighty God, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate.

It has come to my attention that you are contemplating a garage sale to raise some much needed cash to support your fast failing regime.

I refer of course to your intention to reduce your Trident submarine fleet from four vessels to three. I also assume you will be reducing your stock of warheads at Aldermaston and Coulport.

I would be more than happy to relieve you of all these burdens and am prepared to pay a more than fair price for them, as well as looking after the transport of the units back to Iran at our cost.

As you are aware, we in Iran now have the personnel, equipment and specialist expertise to support the proper storage and upkeep of all types of nuclear materials. From low level waste to high grade weapons plutonium. For this we thank The Prophet Allah (pbuh) and our allies as well as the leaky US and UK security and intelligence procedures.

All we would ask is for the loan of some of your submariners to help sail the Trident submarine from Faslane Naval base to Chabaher where we are preparing our facilities. Any training in nuclear deterrent procedures during the journey would also be most welcome.

The remuneration package would also include very favourable terms regarding access to oil. Something we see you are more than happy to sacrifice the US/UK ‘special relationship’ for. I am sure our terms would more than match anything Gadaffi offered for the return of his man.

I await your reply with anticipations.

Yours in the Name of Almighty God, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate.

Mahmoud

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
The President of the Islamic Republic of Iran

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