Comment

A case of anti-social behaviour

Miss M Lott
28 Acacia Avenue

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Prime Minister,

It is with great regret that I write to inform you that the long upheld standards of Acacia Avenue are finally slipping.

As you should be aware, this is a benchmark area and, as such, the state of the nation can be measured by monitoring what goes on here.

A letter from the Whitehouse for Gordon

Mr Norman O U Cant
A.A.C.C.A.
The White House

Mr Gorden Brun,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Mr Brun,

Thank you very much for your very (very) repeated attempts to set up a meeting with the ‘Big O’.

Your persistence has drawn huge admiration, as well as some pity, from all quarters of the White House.

The Baroness writes to the PM

Office of The Baroness Scotland of Asthal, PC, QC

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Gay,

Thank you so much for your support over my last few difficult days.

It is so gratifying to have someone of your undoubted stature behind me in my hour of need.

Not that this should be my hour of need!

Gordon wants to shred evidence

Mega-Shredder Ltd
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Prime Minister,

Thank you for allowing us to provide a quote for the latest project at No. 10.

Just to clarify, as I understand the situation you wish to securely dispose of a very large amount of paper and computer based media files between about 3 am and 8 am on the morning of an undisclosed date within the next ten months or so.

Harriet writes to the PM

Harriet Harman MP
House of Commons
Westminster

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Gordon,

The time is fast approaching when you will be forced to make two painful but essential decisions.

The first will be how and when do you decide to stand down as the leader of the Labour Party? After the carnage to come from the upcoming general election your position will be totally untenable. Even if you do reach polling day unscathed. As you are well aware, you are a dead duck floating upside down in a rancid pool.

Stan and Malcolm write to the PM

Stan Snatchitt
& Malcolm Runn,
Welfare Row
(Addresses Withheld)

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Prime Minister,

We've read in the Mirror and the Sun that you're looking at cutting the social. So we got together to write a letter to you to express our concerns.

As long term users of the social we feel threatened. We have voted for the Labour party ever since we was 16 (arranged by our local Labour Party rep who said age wasn‘t an issue where democracy was concerned). Why? Because they’ve always made sure our Giro checks was available every week without fail. More than those Tory bastards ever did, they actually want us to work for the pittance we get.

The PM gets an artful letter

TFN Designs Ltd
Edinburgh

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Prime Minister,

With reference to your letter of the 15th, we are more than happy to assist you in the design and execution of your next important project. I am gratified that you think so highly of our work that you are recommending us for a Royal Appointment.

The PM orders his Christmas cards

CardZnobz
London W.12

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Prime Minister,

Thank you very much for entrusting us with your very extensive Christmas card order.

We have enclosed samples for your perusal based upon the rather exact instructions you provided us with.

The job centre replies to the PM

Job Centre Plus
London
‘Just another number’

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Prime Minister,

Thank you for your early notification that unemployment is expected to rise so sharply over then next year or so.

We stand ready to rise to the challenge of helping the almost totally unemployable people you refer to into gainful employment for probably the first time in their lives. It is also worthy of note that you have so quickly gained cross party support for your proposals.

Mandy writes to the PM

Peter Mandelson
Baron of Hartlepool and Foy

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Gay,

I hope this letter finds you well. (I assume you don’t mind my use of your university days moniker?)

At our last less than convivial meeting you expressed some angst over the latest additions to my confidential MI5 file.

The window cleaner writes to the PM

Paynes’s Window Cleaners,
London.
SW1

Mr Brown,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Mr Brown,

I feel moved to write to you concerning the plight of Phil, who has been cleaning the windows of 10 Downing Street without mishap for some 50 years. He was in fact our firm’s first employee when he joined us at the tender age of 14.

Removals firm reply to the PM

Bodget, Brachet & Sons Ltd.
Removers to the Gentry since 1860

Mr and Mrs Brown,
10 Downing Street,
London.
SW1A 2AA

Dear Mr and Mrs Brown,

RE: YOUR REMOVALS ENQUIRY OF THE 13TH SEPTEMBER 2009

How refreshing it is in today’s economic climate that someone is planning their impending move so far ahead.