In a move to distance itself away from scandal and ridiculous speculation which might damage the Catholic Church, has blamed British naval hero Horatio Nelson and our honey making friends for the crisis the Catholic Church now finds itself in.

Cardinal Touchy De Feely from the order of the Long Raincoats has spoken on behalf of the discredited church in a press conference to ensure that the proper culprits are brought to justice and has demanded that Horatio Nelson and all Bees be  arrested forthwith.

Bishop Ben Dover joined De Feely and has stood behind him on many matters and claimed that Nelson's death was merely a cover-up for the truth of what is really going on in the world and claims the Bees  are helping him in his evil plans to turn all Catholic Priests into Paedophiles.

"Let us get this straight" said Bishop Dover "The Catholic Church is under attack and it is not celibacy or the fact that we spend too much time with young boys that makes us want to become dirty old creeps, We must find Nelson and wage war on the Bees".

"Bees up and down the land have been stinging our Priests and it is their sting that contains the perversion virus which is turning us all into kiddy fiddlers" said De Feely "It is Lord Nelson who has made this virus in his lab under the South Pole"

Famous Italian television medium Istherea Enione Athere has disappeared after she claimed that she contacted Horatio Nelson and he was most annoyed by the accusations made by the Catholic Church claiming that he himself as a young boy was groped by a priest on more than one occasion.

Bees across the world have been joined by famous celebs from the worlds of cinema and music as they come together in a candle lit vigil to send a message to the Catholic Church that the Bees are not for turning.


Comment Here!

comments