Elena Di Cioccio, an Italian comedienne has briefly has  fondled our great intellectual ambassador's family golden jewels as a prank for an Italian comedy show La Iene which was staged during an outdoor interview.

Mr Beckham did not look impressed at all by the prank and was swiftly whisked away by some rather burly looking Italian gents who were either his body guards or some Mafia chaps after some protection money from the rather rich footballer.

It's hard to feel too sorry for Becks, after all he has been flashing his danglers in underwear adverts for years and making a King's ransom for it. So it was only a matter of time until the multi-million pound lunch box was grabbed by someone in a public display.

I personally would have liked to have seen a little more action in the debacle.

Either Becks should have had his famous genitalia tugged and stretched to the ground and nailed there, either that or Victoria should have jumped screaming with arms flaying around her from the top floor of the building above directly on to the back of Elena Di Cioccio and scratched her eyes out.

Sadly neither took place and we can but fantasise on these matters.

No, you cannot say that David Beckham has no talent, that would be utterly wrong because he has proven himself time and time again on the football field and has been an exemplary representative for our country in whatever he does on and off the field.


He made a fortune by showing off his gnads in underwear and some tripe pictures for advertising and takes every opportunity he can to get himself snapped in briefs even when he isn't in a photo shoot so what do you expect?

Someone was always going to make a grab at some stage, pity it wasn't Vinnie Jones a la Paul Gascoigne.

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