In attempt to beat the crash estate agents have resorted to taking large quantities of LSD to alter the housing market.
Potential buyers are being spiked before viewings in order to make the asking price seem more reasonable.

Mrs Jones of Bargoed was taken to view a 6 foot by 10 foot corrugated iron shed behind a public toilet in her home town. After the viewing she put an offer in without hesitation for her and her 6 children and 3 grandchildren to move into.

Before the viewing Mrs Jones for given a cup of tea in the estate agents office, she asked for no sugar except the agent was most insistent saying that sugar helps you lose weight.

Her offer of 13 rays of sunlight was accepted by the seller who had also developed a taste for the tea being served at the estate agents and now pops in twice a day for a cuppa.
Mr Arch pigeon the 3rd manager of the branch said "This is proof that the crash is over and we are now on the upturn"

He has yet to complete a transaction where any tangible currency has been offered to the seller.
The Government has assigned a special task force to investigate this groundbreaking turnaround in events and is looking for ways to expand this to the wider economy.

Preliminary findings unfortunately reveal that the prime minister has already been using LSD on his cabinet and himself for quite some time now and it seems that it doesn't translate well on a national or global stage.

A spokesperson for the government said "For this to work we need a globally coordinated effort for the new stimulus to work. We are now in dialogue with America and China to introduce LSD via spraying from giant spaceships on Neptune". The Neptune government was unavailable to comment.

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