Hilary Benn by Steve Punter (CC-BY-SA-2.0)

Hilary Benn by Steve Punter (CC-BY-SA-2.0)


The Exiting the EU Commons Select Committee, chaired by the Labour MP Hilary Benn, has issued what it says are the 15 tests against which any Brexit deal must be measured.

The Brexit Committee of 21 MPs, 14 of whom are as far as I can see, Remain minded, has issued a report containing 15 tests which the Chair of the Committee, Hilary Benn, says MUST be the benchmark to use when evaluating any Brexit deal the government agrees with Brussels.

The committee has many ardent Remainers on it, who are partly counterbalanced by Brexiteers such as Jacob Rees-Mogg, Christopher Chope, Peter Bone and John Whittingdale.

A huge point to note here though, is that committees such as this one are expected to agree a unanimous consensus, so that any reports and recommendations it comes up with, carries full cross-party political weight.

But this one, like the committee's previous report on extending the negotiation and transition periods, does not come with unanimity – as the Brexiteers opposed it.

Tory MP and Brexiteer, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is member of that committee and he said:

The High Priests of Remain have pushed through another report that seeks to overturn the referendum result by stealth.

“Select committee reports are only of any value when unanimous, divided ones have no effect.”

Now, as far as I can see, if the document containing these 15 tests (The Future UK-EU Relationship) was a stick of seaside rock, it would have the word REMAIN in huge letters running right through it.

All they seem to have done is take anything a Leave politician has ever said that suits their Remain agenda, gold plated it (in the normal way that the UK responds to all things EU) and pushed it out for acceptance.

And the last of the fifteen tests that talks about "…. agreeing reciprocal access to waters and a fairer allocation of fishing opportunities for the UK fishing industry." Well, words fail me.

As I said on my website. What is it about Remain supporters that they hate fish and the UK fishing community so much?

As these so-called 'tests' are so Remain biassed, I thought I'd finish the job off for them and insert the ones they forgot to put in – or shied away from including. I've also appended some helpful administrative notes for them.

Now, as they give 15 Brexit tests and 20 is a far catchier number, here are the five extra tests I think they would love to see included, all in the spirit of co-operation and helpfulness you understand!

So starting off with number 16.

Extra Brexit Tests:

16. All UK armed and security forces to become part of the Permanent Structured Co-operation with eventual full control from Brussels agreed to start by the end of the Brexit transition period.

17. Borders and Border Force to be prepared for the UK to become part of the Schengen area, commencing on Brexit Day.

18. The Foreign and Commonwealth office to be shut down, most of the staff made redundant and the Foreign Secretary and those that remain to be transferred to Brussels to work directly for the High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy.

19. The bank of England and Treasury to be disbanded with the Governor of the Bank and the UK Chancellor of the Exchequer transferred to work in a basement somewhere in bowels the European Central Bank to prepare for the UK to adopt the Euro prior to the end of the Brexit transition phase.

20. Accelerate the regionalisation of the UK to be achieved by the end of 2020.

And here are my suggested administrative notes to go along with those extra tests.

Administrative notes:

1. Item 16 – UK armed forces will no longer need its own ministry or Chief of Defence Staff.

2. Item 17 – UK Border Force to fall under the command of Frontex.

3. Item 18 – All British embassies to be redesignated as EU embassies.

4. Item 19 – Taking on the euro will require the 310.29 metric tonnes of UK gold reserves to be sent to Brussels as well.

5. Item 20 – The removal of the word England from all documentation is advised at the earliest opportunity.

6. General – Because these 20 tests will keep the UK tied so tightly to the EU for the foreseeable future and beyond, we recommend keeping the UK Members of the European Parliament in place; so preparations should be made to be part of those elections in June 2019.

Now I think I've covered the main points the Remainers on the committee would have liked to have included in the report, but please do feel free to add to them in the comments sections below.

Seriously though, if through some nightmare or other these people did have their reverse Brexit way, then those tests 16-20 would definitely come into play!


Brexit Committee sets out Fifteen Key Tests for Exiting the EU

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