The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,
Dear Prime Minister,
Thank you for your inquiry regarding publicity photographs at upcoming events.
You have asked whether you could emulate Tony Blair and have photographs taken with your followers at future events and charge them Â£180 per snap. This is a sound concept and already tried and tested by many celebrities.
We took the liberty of conducting some wide ranging market research on your behalf. It turns out that most people would be more than happy to part with circa Â£200 for a photograph with the right celebrity. Some of the public said they would actually pay up to ten times that amount for shots with Brad Pitt, Cristiano Ronaldo or Girls Aloud.
In your case however, when asked about the Â£180 to appear in a shot with you, most said you would need to pay them substantially more than that. They claim the damage to their reputation and credibility would need to be properly compensated for. This was especially the case amongst hard core Labour followers.
The good news though is that most would be happy to pay vast sums for being photographed battering you with a baseball bat, using a chainsaw on you or maybe employing a garrotte. Many of these bids went into the tens of thousands.
This we feel is the most lucrative way forward and are preparing the next photo-opportunity accordingly. We have also come up with some more innovative sets including a guillotine, hangman’s noose and electric chair.
We hope this meets with you approval.
E. Gow Photographers Ltd