Girls Aloud's new single, 'Something New' has been leaked on the internet giving the British public prior warning of the dirge, which is about to hit our airwaves.

Yes that's right Cheryl Cole, Kimberly and errmmm what ever the rest of them are called have been back in the studio and the end result is the ironically titled 'Something New'.

The track is musically nothing new and starts off sounding like an early 2000's club remix you might find as a free give-away with a celeb mag mixed by Can'tSyncDaTrack.

Vocally the song is predictable at choruses with the almost non-existent monotone harmony-less chant covered with auto-tuned  phrases with lyrics repeating how these girls are going take control and are leaders of the pack and warning the male members of the human race to look out because they want something new and are errmmm going to dance.

Red Sea Egypt Fish by Alexander Z

Red Sea Egypt Fish by Alexander Z

Well, there you have it! Shakespeare and Milton need not worry that their contributions to the culture of humanity are about to be superseded in the pantheon of great works by the offerings of Cheryl and Co.

Some of the leaked video shows Cheryl Cole taking centre stage making her trademark overly exaggerated swinging hip walk to make up for the fact that whatever comes out of her mouth will in order to sound good require more processing power than the entire Facebook server.

However whilst listening to the song in the bath with my ears under the water the song did take on a more transcendental quality and for that I will give 'Something New' an extra point in the review score.

Verdict: 1/10

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