Did you hear that? What was it you say? It was the sound of the British public taking a huge collective sigh of relief upon finding out that the conservative party had WON THE ELECTIONS! Yes Britons, the time has come for change! Not a small barely noticeable change, but a change of epic proportions! We hand the batons of government over to the Tory party with great pleasure! Hell, we would have thrown it to you along time ago but we had to go by the rules and suffer the formalities first!

At last we will see something that we did not have the opportunity to with Gordon brown… something actually happen! Our country, sadly, had become accustomed to laborious Labour and boring Brown. However now we shall see the current occupier leave poor Downing Street alone! Out with the old, in with the blue! We still sit inside a broken economy induced by the red recession. Our public services are in a shambles, our benefit system is far from beneficial and we are in a slight bit of debt, the national debt collector is far from happy to say the least. I shall not lie to you fellow Britons; it is by no means going to be easy. We shall have to work very hard to restore order! We shall have to join together like the United Kingdom that we are and fight off the negativity, debt and disappointment we are currently subjected to. But, I will tell you one thing. That is that we have made the right decision. We posted our ballots appropriately, we left the polling stations with pride and no doubt most of us now either have a hang-over or are even still drunk! Either way, we are all a lot less affected by this than we would have been should another party have cruelly snatched the seats away from their rightful owners, THE CONSERVATIVES!


This victory comes with an additional dose of the not so desirable Liberal Democrats. Well after my recent attitude towards the Lib Dems I can hardly say I fully support the new ‘Coneral Coalition’. If I did that would make me a hypocrite? Crytic yes, hypocrite no! Although we Tories must be proud of our pending new Prime Minister! David Cameron has delivered us a full and flawless first speech, instead of merely banding together with Clegg and Co to throw the Labour party. No, Cameron PM is definitely prime ministerial material. He has proposed to us a collaborative merger with the Lib Dems but he has also given us a first idea to how this will work. He has told us he will not be moved on European, immigration and defence policies. DC PM has made it clear that it is he and the Tory party that are in control here. The Lib Dems have been given the chance to obtain that which would normally be bordering upon impossible to achieve. So should Clegg and Co wish to park themselves in parliament then they will do so under conditions set out by D.C P.M – how good does that sound to you fellow Tories? DC PM it’s almost as if he has been made for the part. I am proud to finally see the end of our short lived hanging of all things parliamentary; I feel that his premiership will be of great benefit to us all. If conducted in the proper manner then we could have a very successful party upon our benches. David Cameron’s speech itself has convinced me that this is something I can accept, perhaps not fully understand but I can at least accept it.

I offer the following advice to David Cameron: go forth and triumph with our blessing however, please DC…. Whatever you do …. make sure that no government credit cards fall into the hands of Nick Clegg. You have the chance to regulate the Lib Dem’s spending you must use this. Gordon so too had the chance of regulation, upon the banks. One wonders if this has come back upon himself three-fold and with a vengeance?

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