The result of a 2,000 person survey by OnePoll reported in the Daily Mail yesterday shows that 20% of employees hate their workmates.

Unsurprisingly, media workers came out as the top colleague-haters followed closely by IT and sales.

Notably a third of workers said they would not choose to socialise with their workmates.

Now the sexist bit, the study found that women are more likely than men to bitch about others behind their backs. Two in five women admitted to bitching about someone at work in the last week compared to just one in five for men. Or is it that the girls are just more honest?

Now, I have a tale to tell about this. I live alone and recently took up working alone from my own home office. But now I find out the truth behind the guy that I respected that used to turn up at the head office on time every day, well groomed, prepared and eager to get stuck in. Now he works at home in my office I suddenly find out what an uncultured slob he is.

I now hate him with a passion! He makes me grimace every time I look in the mirror irst thing in the morning.

When he first started he would be up early, get dressed and shaved and after breakfast have the computer up and running by half eight so as to get a head start on the day. This slowly degenerated through jeans and t-shirts at a quarter to nine and has ended up as unshaven and in a scruffy dressing gown at nine (or maybe soon after).

The swine now gets up just before 9 o’clock so he can boot up the PC and read the E-Mails through the wall of last night’s empty beer cans and pizza. Whilst doing this there is much belching, farting and scratching of testicles. And guess what’s for breakfast? Yes, cold pizza. How can I continue to share my home office with this ultra-slob?

Then the kettle goes on and the empty milk carton comes to light. So instead of knuckling down to work, it’s off down the corner shop for a paper and milk, sometimes still in dressing gown and slippers (underwear optional). That might explain why I had a visit from the local vicar last week, someone had sent him round to ask if I wanted an exorcism carried out in the house. Cheeky bugger! That was just after the post woman had called and recoiled in horror when he answered the door to sign for a package.


Another gripe is that when head office phone up chasing that late report, he just says he’s having technical issues and no the webcam isn’t working. He then demands the latest, most expensive and gizmo laden laptop he can find on the ‘net to stop these incessant ‘problems’. He’s kept them off his back for months like that.

Back to the average day. Then this lazy git, after more belching, farting and scratching of testicles (still in dressing gown) declares lunch and disappears into the kitchen only to find that another trip to the corner shop is called for. This trip requires a more ‘appropriate’ apparel, because the journey both ways takes him past the “Workers Arms” (if only) and the attraction of the local brewer’s best bitter.

Now he spends the afternoon semi snoozing and browsing Facebook to keep in touch with those ‘business contacts’. I’ll get on to that report first thing in the morning he claims.

You see what I have to put up with? I have come to detest this person. I’ve a good mind to get him reassigned back to head office so he can be sure to do a good days work ……. then again, maybe not.



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