A rat has been spotted outside number 10 Downing street by BBC and ITN cameras twice in one week.

No it's not Danny Alexander [1].

The real rat was first caught by the camera during last Monday's BBC live report from No 10 which centred on the impact the NHS would suffer as a consequence of public sector reforms.

The rat was then spotted again behind Lucy Manning (No relation to Bernard) during her broadcast regarding the resignation of Andy Coulson from the position of Conservative Party Head of Communications (a rather Orwellian sounding post if ever I heard one).

The spokesperson for the Prime Minister said that Humphrey, who served under three Prime Ministers and held the affectionate tittle of Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office, (just to clear things up, Humphrey was a stray cat who made home around Downing Street in 1988 and used to catch rodents ) retired in 1997 is not being replaced.

Can you imagine the public outcry at such a waste of tax payer's money? You may have to train the cat to do what it already does instinctively. Would it catch the correct EU quotas? Or would some rats need to be thrown back? Then of course there's the relevant diversity out reach programme to be devised. And the uniform committee alone would take 6 months to select.

Oops, my mistake. The department for Training Rat Catching Cats Attached To Downing Street which was set up under the previous Labour administration has been closed down however the Academy of Rat Catching Cats budget is still under review with cats being forced to take out loans and work part time jobs catching mice in order pay for the privilege to hone their rat catching instincts.

For the cerebrally challenged the last two paragraphs have no basis in fact (yet).

I do think though that there may be a volunteer for the post of rat catcher in the opposition benches, she comes very highly qualified with her intense hatred of rodents more of the ginger persuasion.

[1] http://news.sky.com/story/815082/harman-hits-out-at-lib-dems-ginger-rodent

Comment Here!