Roots the Chemist

The Right Hon Gordon Brown MP,
10 Downing Street,

Dear Prime Minister,

I am becoming increasingly concerned regarding the amount and type of analgaesics you have been purchasing recently.

You seem to have been progressively increasing the strength of the drugs in line with the WHO pain ladder.

You started initially on the Non opioids such as aspirin and paracetamol (acetaminophen) to non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as diclofenac or ibuprofen before moving on to the weaker opioids like tramadol, codeine, and dihydrocodeine. Finally you have been using the Strong opioids, morphine, diamorphine (heroin), fentanyl, buprenorphine, oxycodone and hydromorphone.

We now have nothing stronger to offer you.

We therefore suggest you contact a veterinary surgeon, who should be able to offer advice on painkillers designed for use with horses and cattle, like Xylazine.

Sorry that I can be of no further help,

Jeckyll Hyde

Roots Chemists

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