Asda has taken the plunge and introduced a range of party dresses it claims will suit the various shapes of all women's bottoms. A brave claim indeed! And as a man it worries me a bit (more later).
The range came about after a survey found that 85% of women were worried about the shape and size of their derrieres. Somewhat unsurprising in today's quest to achieve the perfect female form, or at least look like you have.
Asda says that modern exercise and diet regimes have changed the form of the female bottom into the 'tomato' shape, which is "bigger, plumper, rounder and squishy to the touch". And this now makes up 45% of all female behinds.
Then there is the less flattering potato shape – wide, long and lumpy.
The pear shape is narrow at the top and then blossoms out to twice the width at its widest.
The nectarine shape epitomises "the cartoonesque derriere perfection of two bowling balls pushed together". But unfortunately this more perfect shape is seen on only 10% of women.
Now Asda want every woman to 'celebrate' their shape in one of their party dresses over Christmas this year.
At £20 and in sizes 8-20 they should get a lot of interest.
But as a bloke I have to say that we men are now going to be put right on the spot!
No longer will 'does my bum look big in this?' – stock answer 'No.' suffice.
Oh No! Get ready for the grilling of 'So what sort of bum do I have?' Then comes 'Does it look big in this?'
And woe betide the guy that says 'potato' or 'tomato'! Better do your homework chaps!
I can just see it now, Asda will probably find sales figures of the four types being led by the nectarine style as young ladies attempt to squish their inappropriate behinds into them saying to themselves 'yes I've got that perfect behind'.
But they have still not covered all the shapes in my book, where's the 'stick' and the 'battleship'?