"Cameron is really threatening war?" asks Leave.EU co-founder Arron Banks.

"This is desperate stuff from Desperate Dave.

"His remarks about the men lying in the Commonwealth War Graves are frankly insulting – they fought to defend democracy and the right to self-determination, not to pave the way for the UK to chuck them overboard for an anti-democratic European customs union."

Leave.EU has tried to imagine life after Brexit – according to our Prime Minister-cum-In campaign Scaremonger-in-Chief – below…

WE’RE AT WAR AGAIN, FOR SOME REASON!

A soon-to-be-former Prime Minister addresses the Nation on June 24th

"This morning, on June 24th 2016, the German Ambassador handed the British Government a final Note stating that, unless they heard by 11 o'clock that we were prepared at once to withdraw our request to leave the European Union, a state of war would exist between us.

"I have to tell you now, that having voted resoundingly for trade and friendship with the EU, but not political union, people and parliament would not allow me to give Germany such an undertaking, and that consequently this country is at war with Europe, because… erm… reasons.

"You can imagine what a bitter blow it is to me that all my long struggle to convince the British public to vote Remain on the basis of a few piddling (and likely empty) promises to change to the way EU migrants access in-work benefits has failed. Yet I cannot believe that there is anything more or anything different that I could have done, considering real reform was never on the table.

"Up to the very last it would have been quite possible to have arranged a peaceful and honourable settlement between UK and the EU, but its unelected Commission would not have it. They had evidently  made up their mind that the supremacy of EU law over British law, EU control over trade policy and open borders were non-negotiable.

"Me, my old mates Nick and Tony and our pals in the Too Big To Fail multinational mega-banks were fine with that, of course, but unfortunately we left the final decision up to ordinary people.

"I have a clear conscience. I did all that I could to stop Brexit: I threatened people’s jobs, their mortgages, migrant camps springing up in Kent and even military checkpoints on the border with the Republic of Ireland. Unfortunately I pushed it a bit far, and created a situation in which no word given by the In campaign could be trusted.

"But now that Britain has resolved to leave the EU, I know that you will all play your part
with calmness and courage. The assurances of support that we have received from the
Commonwealth are a source of profound encouragement to everyone… except me, because they rather undermine what I was saying before the vote.

"Now may God bless you all.  As I said before the vote, I fully intend to stay on to negotiate a settlement with the enemy and – wait, what are you ghastly backbenchers doing in the studio? I’m making my speech to the nation. Get your hands off me! I’m not ready to resign! It wasn’t supposed to be this way, I only promised a referendum because I thought we’d be a minority government and the opposition would block it! Please, no! Noooo–"

You have been listening to a broadcast from the now former Prime Minister, David Cameron.

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